On Saturday, December 1st I was just finishing up one of the last sneak peeks for my clients. As Josh was watching a movie and fell asleep on the couch I went to bed around 12:00 am. I did my normal routine and lay in bed and was fully asleep........
Suddenly I am woken up at 1:30am by a big puddle of wetness in my bed. I didn't even know what to think or do. I just called, "JOSH". He came running in and I showed him. My water had broken and I had no idea what to do or think. The only thing I remember thinking was, I can not have this baby, something is going to be wrong, there is no way he is coming today I am not even 35 weeks along. All the bad thoughts or complications and troubles went through my mind and I did not have anything ready or prepared. I was so stressed and overwhelmed, I started shaking and my teeth were chattering (all you mom's know what I am talking about, but it usually happens right after you have given birth). Poor Josh was so helpful, he got my mom on the phone and I kind of freaked out and started crying. Mom told me, "Shannan you are having this baby, you need to get to the hospital now." I had never had my water break at home so I asked her if there was anyway I wouldn't have the baby and be able to keep him in me. Her response was no and I felt helpless and honestly was so scared. I was so scared that everything around me and the easiest things like packing and what to do with the kids I didn't know what to do and kind of just walked around just SCARED to death for my little guy that was soon to enter this world so early. I remember praying my little heart out and just asking God over and over again to make sure he is ok. That's all I cared about..... was my sweet baby boy who would come to this world to early and have to suffer in the NICU and maybe even have worse complications for not being fully developed.
Needless to say, weeks before I started to feel so much more pressure than I usually did and I was sore down their when I sat for long periods of time. I was sure he would come early, but not expecting him to come 5 weeks early.
So Josh gathered somethings and the kids. The only thing I could use to stop the dripping was Rachel's diaper. Yup, it's true I had a toddler diaper on while I entered the hospital. At this time I was not experiencing any contractions or pain, but I was worried, because with my other two they came pretty fast and I was only in the labor and delivery room for a matter of not even an hour. We met my kind mother-in -law and she took the kids home and we booked it to the 4th floor. As we had arrived I got wheeled in and settled in the bed and hooked up. I was happy to have one of my friends from the ward be my nurse for some of it. As they checked me, I was only dilated to a 1/2 and they said if I didn't progress I would have to have patosin. I still wanted to try to do hypo birthing with this baby like I did my others, but I knew that maybe the circumstance wouldn't allow it. But we had music going and my hubby was still my own personal couch and biggest help. As they checked me almost every hour I continued to progress thankfully. Yet, it became difficult when the nurse came in and told me they had just talked to my doctor, Dr. Savage and that she said that I needed to know that this pregnancy would not be like the other pregnancies I have had and that I needed to prepare for that. So of course I was thinking the worst...... epidermal, c-section, surgery, anything else that was a complication came to my mind. So I started to ask tons of questions about all that I was unfamiliar with and had not experienced. I wanted to be as educated and prepared if they had to go to that extent. Another scary thing was that they told me I would most likely have to deliver the baby in the OR room, thus of course I thought I'd be having surgery and many doctors help. AHHHH!!! But is still didn't want any types of medication, unless I had to have it.
"Well, get some sleep" is what the nurses would say as I still was not feeling the contraction, yet they were occurring on the monitors.( As part of hypno-birthing, that is another thing we do is turn down the monitors so you don't have to be warned that a contraction is coming, I mean why would you want to be warned about it anyways?) So I laid there for a full 6 hours, with small interruptions for checking me., and while Josh and my mother-in law slept, all I did was cry and pray. How could I sleep knowing that I basically had to plan for the worst. I have never prayed for one individual so much in my life. All I wanted was for him to be ok. I got to the point too, where I didn't care what had to be done to get him here safely.
Finally at 7:00am I started to feel the contractions and was able to have pretty good control over them as I tried my hardest to put my mind to my happy place, which was imagining me with my family on the beach, running around holding Preston in my arms and just watching James and Rachel having the time of their lives. At 8:00 I needed Josh's help. I tried to stand up, cause others said it was more comfortable..... not for me, I hated it. Josh was my life saver and biggest support, all I needed was him during the more intense urges (contractions). Just hearing his voice and having him touch me or hold my hand or having his head touch mine was enough for me to go somewhere else with my mind, instead of focusing on the pressure and pain. And of course he used his humor to help me and entertain the nurses. For the last part, we had another nurse that was excellent and so so awesome, as she made it so comfortable and knew exactly what I needed without even asking her.
As time kept passing, they told me I was getting closer. I questioned where my doctor was and they said she was on her way. But as the nurse checked me she said I was a 10 and ready. Still no doctor. So they started rolling me out. Yup, to the OR room (a very scary place, so I thought) and just as they open the door, there is my doctor. Yah!! I love her and have delivered all my babies with her and thought I couldn't do it without her. I was so grateful when I saw her. But she was not her normal calm self. She started running me down the hall and at that moment I knew something was wrong. Josh had to hurry and get on all his cover up gear and we went in. Right when I was being rolled into the actual room I totally had the urge to push and my doctor wouldn't let me. Oh my that is where the pain was, how was I supposed to not push when I felt I had too? It was so dreadfully hard. Then after that passed we waited for another one and now they were ready for me to push. Well, it came and they kept saying "PUSH SHANNAN PUSH." I couldn't push, I had forgotten how too. I was pushing because it was a contraction, not because I had the urge to push. But the next one was my time to push and still I had to have them remind me how to push. Their response was to push like your going POO. So I pushed then suddenly she gets me to stop because the baby is posterior. This was by far the most pain I felt when she told me not to push while I had the urge to push and during a contraction..... and while she is turning the baby inside of me. Talk about pain, I felt that one big time. 3 pushes later he is out and I am just over joyed to hear his cry. He even got to lay right on my stomach while Josh cut the cord. I was overjoyed and had so much adrenaline going through my body. Josh says that each time I give birth it is the coolest thing to see, because I am like a cat that just kisses and licks my baby. Since I had no medication at all I had that adrenaline that is overflowing and the best feeling is right when I saw him on my stomach breathing, it is seriously something I can not explain, but I have so much emotion of love and excitement that I can barely bare it. I always end up tearing up.
I only help him for like half a minute then the doctor had to take him to the back with Josh to make sure he was breathing right and get him cleaned up. The best words I heard that day was from my doctor was when she told me he was good and doing well.
What a blessing, God had answered all my prayers and had taken care of my little angel and me. There was no complications that were severe, baby was healthy and I was able to give birth naturally.
As Josh returned with our new baby we just stared at him and felt so blessed to have him as ours.
He was perfect.
Yet, since he was a preemie, 34 weeks and 6 days along they had to take precautions and send him to NICU.
I remember being wheeled up to the NICU and entering the doors and being petrified by the sight of tiny little babies being hooked up in incubators and being unsure of how our little one was doing, just hoping he would be nearly as plugged up to machines as other ones.
And what to my wondering eye should appear but my little baby boy laying in a much less intense sleeping area and only having oxygen and monitors on him.
This was truly another tender mercy from God.
We spent some time in the NICU just adoring out little miracle and touching his little hands and face. And we were in love with him from first sight.
Every time I have a child I am reminded of how real our Savior is and how his plan makes sense. Without God we are nothing and with God we can be anything and have everything he has planned for us. This little guy is pure evidence that miracles do happen and that God knows what he is doing. Thank you God for loving us so much and for letting us take care of your son here on earth and be his parents. We know we are blessed and we will be the best parents that we know how to be.
Introducing our sweet baby boy:
PRESTON JOSHUA NIELSON
Born: December 2nd, 2012 at 9:13 am
Weight: 6 lbs, 2oz
Height: 18.5 in
He was first welcomed by his Nana Rosemarie Smith, and she just instantly adored him.
Then big brother, James and big sister Rachel saw him for the first time through the glass. They blew many kisses and wanted to hold him and keep looking at him. They couldn't get enough of him through the glass and I don't think they quite understood why they couldn't come into the NICU where mommy was with their new baby brother.
We were not sure how long he would have to stay in the NICU and they told me it would depend on how well he nurses. So I was of course hoping for the best. As I proceeded to nurse I just held him close and unexpectedly he didn't need my help one bit, he latched on right of the bat. He was a natural. What a blessing to have a preemie that was a big 6 lbs 2oz. I think he was just ready. Can you imagine if he would have gone full term, he would have been like 10 lbs.
For the first night I just went up to the NICU every 3 hour or when he woke up they would call me. He nursed perfect every time for about 20 minutes (excluding one time when he just wanted to sleep instead of drink). So each time he nursed they would lower the amount of IV.
After one day he was out of the NICU and in my room.
It was so much fun introducing James and Rachel to Preston.
Big brother James got to meet him first and he was so kind and gentle with him. He just kept on giving him kisses and help him so well. A few things he said was, "Preston Joshua, I am your big brother.....I will take car of you. You can play with my toys....... I love you." He also asked why he has his eyes closed and I told him it was because it was to bright, so instantly he asked us to turn off the lights.
Big sister Rachel ran right over to Preston and wanted to hold him. So we got her to sit with me and she was so curious about his little body and just kept kissing him. She was speechless and was more about looking than saying anything.
Then Nana, Pat Leavitt arrived from Canada the day after. She is the best, right when she heard I was going to have him she wanted to leave right away, and she did get on the next available plane, just to meet her new grandson. She arrives within 36 hours of delivering him and stayed the night with Preston and I in the hospital, than helped out with the other kids. She was truly heaven sent and we just know she loves us so much and wouldn't have missed this for the world.
To me, he is my Miracle Champion Baby.
Sadly he had bruises all over his forehead from the impact of trying to push him out and being posterior and hitting my pelvis. So I wasn't sure if I should even post any pictures of how bruised he looked. I felt so sorry for his little head and his club foot that looked cranked the wrong way. Poor little guy. My mom said that I was even worse when I was born cause I came so fast, black and purple all over.
There were many prayer given for our little guy when we found out he had a club foot in the ultra sounds. Fasting and prayers for given by family and friends continually. In our home James and Rachel would always ask to help Prestons ouchie on his foot to be ok. I stressed a lot over it feeling like I was helpless and couldn't do anything for him. As a mother all you want to do is protect your little ones and when I heard of his defect I didn't want to accept it, and Josh and I shed many tears over it as we researched it on line and read blogs. I guess that is not the best place to go when you know nothing about it, cause we saw the worst of the worst. As time went by and weeks past,we talked to more knowledgable people and about different cases and were relieved to know it could be corrected through casting and no surgery. So the future of his club foot did look more manageable and I felt like everything would be alright, thus when I saw it I felt bad for my little guy, but was calm that he would get the help he needs to get it corrected. Thank you modern medicine!
My favorite moments in the hospital were just having him skin on skin with me and just staring at him for hour s. Since he was in the NICU for a day and then with us for the second, we didn't have many visitors because we wanted that time with him to ourselves . So we had very few visitors, but lots of one on one time with him. Not the norm, like with our other kids. But he deserved all the snuggle time he could get, since he didn't get it the first day int he NICU.
So we stayed at the hospital for 48 hours and than it was time for us to leave. After much grape juice, water, laying around, and being checked on continually, I was ready to go home and have my mom take care of me, as well as my other crazy kids.
We were so not prepared for him to come soon, that everything was in storage, so Josh did his best to retrieve everything and this is the outfit he found that actually kind of would fit him. He totally fit into preemie outfits and newborns were just flooding him.
Our all time favorite doctor that always does so well with me and gives me relief during pregnancy was there to discharge us. We just love her, and I hope she will deliver all my children.
Welcome to the world Preston.
You are so loved and we are so lucky to be your parents and have you in our family.
You already fit in so well.
We will be with you forever and ever, through thick and thin.