This is the question....

Today we find out if James is going to be an older brother of a sister or brother. I feel as though I have never had the mother intuition of knowing exactly what my child will be. With James, Josh and I would always call him a boy even before we found out he was male. Yet, right before I went into get the ultrasound of James I changed my guess to a girl, because everyone I talked to always said you get what you least expect. As for this child I have totally been thinking both ways, we want a little boy so James can have a close buddy,plus we have all the handy downs too- it would be a lot cheaper. Yet I want a little girl because she would be so much fun to doll up and have as my little princess. Either way it would be a win win. Well just yesterday I had to come up with a guess. It was hard to stand by my decision, because each time I think it is a boy I think about a girl, vice versa. So I am just making a complete guess when I say that I think it may be a girl. Plus, last night I had a petal party with my friends, where we made a bunch of dang cute hair flowers and it kind of wore off on me that having a girl would be fun to deck out in cute little girly things. I will stand by this until we find out, even though I wish I could say that I know and can feel that my baby is a certain gender. Josh has always wanted another little guy for James and to start building his sports teams. So this whole time again he has been saying it is a boy. I guess we will find out at 3:30p.m. And since it is 12:15 a.m right now I think I better go to sleep so I can function tomorrow. But..... I am so excited to find out if we are having another boy or girl. I think that when you actually find out the gender it actually begins to feel more real and I can actually start getting ready for the baby. What a great thing to look forward to today, maybe I will dream a mother, child dream where I will wake up knowing. Ya right, I don't work that way- I wish. The anticipation is killing me. I am 20 weeks now and NEED to KNOW!!

How I'm Doing

That is a great questions, considering I am now almost 17 weeks pregnant. Wow, how time flies. It is such a blessing that this pregnancy is so similar to when I was pregnant with James. Physically I am about the same- feeling extremely good- no throwing up or morning sickness (huge blessing). It seems like I am more tired, but I think it is only because I have my little guy to tend to, am working part time, and on the days I have off I am tending 2 other babies and than after 2:00 I watch 3 more older kids. It really is busy and I never get a nap or get to even sit down. It is crazy how I stay constantly busy all the time.

My normal everyday schedule:

Monday, Thursday and ever other Friday I work as a 3rd grade teacher from 8:00 till about 4:00, than get home around 5 or 6 depending if I have to pick up Josh and take him to school (we even do the one car thing- it's great fun) , our commute is about 40 minutes there and 40 minutes back.

After I get home around and around 6:30 or 7:00 (and on all other days- most nights are the same)I give love, sweet love to James and try to get something cleaned. We eat dinner, give James a bath and than my favorite part of the whole day is reading books to him as he drinks his ba ba and has his silky blanket in his little fingers, cuddled up in my arms. I seriously cherish these moments. He LOVES books so much and lately he has really been giving a liking to Dr.Seuss rhyming books, he also loves alphabet/ picture books. He wants them over and over again. Every night we read scriptures from the illustrated children scriptures. They are so great and he really likes them too, the wording is just right and there is so much for him to look at. Sometimes out of the blue he will grab them and hand them to me to read to him. Then we brush his teeth (one of his most unliked things to do- he likes holding the brush on his own and tasting the paste, but when I start brushing them, it really is a struggle) and say our prayers. He now folds his arms (only for a few seconds though, and he is so proud of himself ).

Next, we sing songs to him (which he loves, his favorite song is Angels Above and I am a Child of God) and I usually just lay with him and soak in his cuteness. I just can't get enough of him. He is irresistible. He loves night time cuddles and morning cuddles. He totally falls asleep in my arms and when he is in his bed I place his soft bunny stuffed animal close to his body, make sure he has his silky close to his face and tuck him in like a blue burrito. Than he's out until the next morning at 7:30 or 8:00 am. So he sleeps a good 11 to 12 hours.

Then on Tuesday after a great cuddle with James we eat breakfast and Eliza and McKay (my niece and nephew ) join us for the rest of the day as I babysit them. They are 2 and 3 years old. James is a very lucky boy to know his cousins so well. They get so excited to see James and James adores Eliza. He is always giving her hugs and kisses (so priceless), he will even just cuddle with he ( and she's about his size- very petite). McKay on the other hand is a tough little guy who beats on poor little James. He is in this stage of biting and hitting. Poor James, since he is the youngest, gets beat up sometimes. It breaks my heart. McKay gets disciplined, but does he learn? I guess James will really grow up having to be tough. I mean I protect him while I am around, but I am not always there.

So us four usually read stories, play with toys and dance and listen to music. Then the boys go down for their nap around 10:30. Eliza watches a child's show, while I do laundry, dishes, and clean. Tuesdays I have my friends come over for craft day. The babies wake up around 12:00 or so than all the kids (6 of them) play together. It's a great time for me to hang with the girls, while the kids all get to hang out together and make even more messes.

Then I am usually trying to get all the household chores done, while tending these little guys (almost impossible keeping it clean- sometimes I think what is the point and just wait to vacuum until later that night when they lay down for the night). All the older kids get home around 2:30 and than at 3:00 I do study hour with them and test them on spelling and math. Then I make dinner (with all the 3 right by my side helping of course, they love to be right by me doing whatever I am doing) for the 10 of us. I always have to cooks for a whole crew on these days, so I try to find fast, easy and inexpensive meals. Around 7:00 I am free. Wow, what a day!! Than I am with my 2 greatest people in my life- James and Josh ( who I usually see after 9:00 because of school).

This is why I am tired, yet happy.

This is why I cherish little moments with James.

This is why I LOVE Weekends and the Fridays off.

I can't complain, it works and it helps all of us out in some way.

Life is great and people make it even more rewarding. I do get excited about my bed and just laying down, yet mornings come so soon and I never fully feel rested. Oh well, I guess this is what motherhood is, right?

So as I was saying, the big differences are that I have been getting some bad headaches for the last 2 weeks and sweets really make me feel sick to my stomach and give me the headaches too. So I have really been good at not eating to much junk with sugar in it. I have the weirdest likes for eating (they aren't really craving) but they taste mighty fine. I love wheat bagels with vegetable sped, apples, grapes and mostly oranges. With this baby, I place so much attention on James that I don't have the same time to focus on all the little weekly details and I really don't focus on myself either. So me being 17 weeks this week, was something I actually had to count today. I had totally lost track.

Being pregnant with my second is still extremely exciting and I get so much joy from knowing my angel is growing inside of me, I guess the anticipation is just not as strong because of how busy I am. But, don't get me wrong- there are so many times I stop and just talk to my 17 week year old (ya, it's a mama thing). Daily prayers include the unborn baby all the time- for health and safety. It's crazy how much love I already feel for this baby. Isn't it wonderful how love can only grow and we can never give to much?

Sweet Baby, we love you and can't wait to cuddle, hold you and fall in love with you more and more everyday. I truly don't know how James will do at first. He is a total mama's boy, he gets jelous easily if I am holding another. I guess he'll have to learn to share, but for now I love it.

3 of US Photoshoot

Daddy's Little CougarFamily of 3

(Plus one) Cousins talking (James and Talmage)

Christmas 2009 Family Picture

Charming Personality

I love us three!

Christmas 2009 Photo shoot with my talented sister, Amber Holt Photography. I just love pictures and they are even better when our little one looks so dang cute in all of them.

Thanks sis, you rock like always!

Baby Seat Canapy's

I made these cute baby seat canopy's for one of my cousins and a friend. If anyone is interested in buying one, let me know and I can match up cute colors that you would love, or that you choose.

Temple

We had a class with a bunch of girls on how to make these large pictures. We made the frames from base boards and than had posters of the temple that we textured. They are completely beautiful. My camera didn't do justice for what they really look like. What I loved most was the price too. Now we finally have a picture of the temple hanging in our house.

Family Home Evening

Lately, for FHE we have been doing some pretty cool things together as a family. We have been really diligent about doing FHE with Baby James ever since the New Year. I know it is something that will help my children learn of Christ and gain a testimony, while at the same time allowing our family to be strengthened and gain relationships and memories. Along with prayer, song, lesson and an activity we have learned that the lessons need to be only about 5 minutes in order to keep James' attention. It has been awesome using the FHE bags that have simple, easy lessons with a prop. For one of our special days together (day off) we went to the Thanksgiving Dinosaurs Museum. We all loved it, it was very informative and there was so much to see. I was very impressed!

Here we are digging for fossils. He even got to dig on his own with the big boys. He did more watching than digging though. This was kind of scary for our little guy. It looked pretty real and it was huge.

Daddy, Mommy and Jamesy will go back when he's big enough to enjoy it even more. Pirate Island was so much better than I thought it would be. We made it another FHE activity. Talk about a great and fun atmosphere for everyone.

The pizza even taste good.

My favorite part was our server. He had the whole pirate thing going, even his accent. James didn't know what to think about it, it was a little scary for him. His favorite part was shooting with daddy and playing on the Farris wheel and the little playground ship. Our little dude loved the Farris wheel. He went on it about 5 times and only wanted more. He's such a big boy he could do it all by himself. He is becoming more independent (sad but true) and doesn't need mamma's help as much.

When it was time to go, he cried. Poor little guy, I guess we found his next favorite place.

We have so much fun, just the 3 of us, even though our fourth was with us in spirit. I am so happy to have two of my babes with me all of the time. They are a blast!

Another successful FHE we had was more of a service. We went to visit an Elderly Home. It was the old one I used to work at in American Fork- Heritage. There were only about 4 people there that I still knew, how sad is that, that the rest have probably passed away. Yet good, because they are not disabled and are now perfect in Heaven. It scared James half to death. He wasn't to sure about all the wrinkles, hunched over in wheelchairs and it even scared him more when they started talking. For a little guy it is kind of an overwhelming experience. I want to continue taking him, so he can eventually learn to love the elderly. It is a great lesson and these lonely people need love from anyone who is willing to give it.

This is just the beginning of all of our FHE's and even though James is so young, I think he already knows it is something special that he does with his mom and dad.

Little lessons, step by step...... I pray that it will make a difference.